And that first no was said to none other than myself. You see one of the main people I have to say no to is me.
No, you can't spend $200 on a knitting retreat, means yes you have the money to pay the second installment of this semesters tuition.
No, you can't join the Rockin Sock Club, means yes you have money for books for said semester.
No, do not buy those potato chips, means yes your ass has a chance of shrinking a little bit.
So you see, the No's are not just for my unsuspecting family, friends and numerous acquintances, they are for me as well.
I did have to hand out a No to my mother this afternoon. And it was hard, but it made me feel so much better.
Mom: Happy New Year, hadn't heard from you. Can I expect you at the studio this Saturday morning?
Me: No, I am taking a "Starting your own Business" class at the Ft. Worth Business Assistance Center.
Mom: Oh, well I guess I can figure something out. Will you be taking the girls to competition this year?
Me: No, they're not into it.
And that was it. Short, sweet and direct to the point. She is not happy with me right now, but I haven't been happy teaching for her for the last 17 years.
I don't know if the No's will get any easier for me to say, listen to, or for others to hear. But I do know that acknowledging my wants from my needs and sticking up for myself without any apologies sure made me feel a little bit better.